||[Oct. 28th, 2008|10:09 am]
|||||roomates waking me up early||]|
there is no way my brain can think anymore...and the nair rash just hurts now and is not red and std like.. so yea upside.. today could not possibly be as bad as yesterday. i will get no more bad news today, at least about this.. unless i spend $10 bucks i don't have on a pregnancy test but hey maybe if the boy comes up i'll make him pay for it. I don't really think i'm pregnant, i'd just rather deal with everything i may have to today.
I was gonna tell him lots of shit.... but i think i'll just ask him some questionss. "Do you want to still be with me?" then after that if no, then maybe something about the adult and right way to end a realtionship and how hurtful it is after three years to be just blown off. If yes.. then pry into the othre girl issue, if i don't have to bring it up then I won't because well it makes my heart sink everytime i think about it and if he's gonna be a big bastard, he doesn't deserve to make me cry.
If he still wants me to I still want him? Will I take him back? I can't say. I still have feelings because i am lame so we'll see but one thing is obvious: I can't deal with him having a emotional or mental relationship with a girl so that must end, if that doesn't end then so must we
Also I'm scared shitless to do this so I may turn away from him or hide myface just to ask him questions... its better that then say nothing and cry or ignore the issues and pretend i'm happy.............. yarg... k.. also i have two exams today lame